They say that hindsight is 20/20 and I am queen of the “I wish I had made better choices when I was younger” club. Between going to court last week and not feeling well this week, I have had a rough time and can’t help but look at the things I should have done differently a long time ago to change what I’m dealing with now. But, do I really wish I had done things differently? Probably not because I can’t imagine not having the blessings God has bestowed on me over the past several years. Even though it’s been a rough season, I wouldn’t change it for the world because of the things my Father in Heaven has taught me smack dab in the middle of the fiery furnace.
Have you ever gone through so many tough things all at once and thought you might not get through them without getting beaten to a pulp? This has been me for the last couple of weeks. There’s a person in my life who hates me. This person has tried everything in his power to destroy my entire life, and last week I could almost feel myself giving into his antics. I’m exhausted, sad, and everything else that the devil is trying to make me into. But I won’t let him win and neither will God.
For the last few weeks I have been begging God to show me His glory. I’ve been wondering why I haven’t felt Him near me and why I’ve been so darn depressed from not seeing my daughter in quite some time. I’ve been thinking about how different things would be if I had never met her dad 17 years ago, and how my heart wouldn’t be so broken right now if we had never made a family. How could these awful thoughts cross my mind? This is not who God created me to be. As I am asking for God’s glory to be revealed, I am thinking these things that are keeping me from seeing His glory. The thoughts have been so loud, but He’s telling me to be still and listen. I’m listening now.
“My soul longs, yes even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God (Psalm 84:2).” Someone once told me that the glory of the Lord is bigger and more beautiful than the expanse of the sky. Think about how big the sky is. Think about the clouds and the colors that appear from sunset to sun down and every minute in between. Think about all of the different gemstones we’ll walk among in the gates of Heaven and the bright light of God’s beautiful face. We’ll walk on streets of gold in the courts of the Lord and we get a glimpse of Heaven here on earth because we are not left to our own regard when we have inheritance in His lineage. Once you’ve seen it you can never forget it. I long to be in the courts of the Lord. “One day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere (Psalm 84:10).”
Now that I’ve quieted my mind I am able to hear the Lord’s voice. Satan wants to distract us with terrible thoughts about ourselves and he strives to make us feel like we are not good enough. Once these thoughts hold us captive, it is so difficult to see that our Savior is standing right by us. That’s exactly what Satan wants…to keep us from our Father. Guess what, friend? Satan’s head will be crushed under Jesus’s heel! He will be bound up and thrown in the the lake of fire and we’ll never have to be concerned with him ever again! I look forward to this and am running toward the finish line where I will forever be in my Father’s presence without the worries of this world weighing me down ever again!
“For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Do you realize who you are? Can you see His glory in you? You were created in God’s image. You are set apart from the foundations of the earth and you are not who the devil says you are. You are God’s likeness, His creation, His treasure. You are strengthened by Him and guided by Him, and I pray you never forget that. His glory is revealed in front of you, all you need to do is be still and listen to what He is saying. He has spoken to you. Can you see His glory now?
Our past makes us who we become. The trials, the tests, the frustrations, and the heartbreak turn us into the people we were predestined to be. I know now that I should never think about how different my life would be if I hadn’t made certain decisions in the past. Who cares? I can’t go back and change anything, but I sure am grateful for who I am today. I love my family and I love my neighbor, and I surely love God with all of my heart, mind and soul. All flesh shall see His glory together, I hope with all of my heart that you can see what He is revealing to you today. If you’re going through a tough time, please reach out to us so we can pray with you. You are loved beyond measure, friend!